Birthday in Bangkok, Grand Palaces and Sex Shows

We headed off to the airport with a 2.5 hour window, thinking that was ample time. We headed to the Emirates counter (and there wasn’t a line up!) and got ready to check-in..well, we then had the hardest time when we were asked if we had a ticket that showed we were going to leave Thailand.

We do have a ticket to go to Malaysia on July 26th that was on our emails, but none of us were bright enough to print it out, thinking our confirmation #s were sufficient. Emirates said that wouldn’t do, so we went to the computers to pull it up..BIG PROBLEM!

ALL of the computers were set so that they wouldn’t open attachments so we were unable to print it out and the check-in chick was adamant we had to have it. After much stress and a lot of frustration, we finally found a chick at the counter who made us sign an indemnity form saying we had enough money to get out of the country (we don’t, but shhhh don’t tell!)..what a trying moment for us..I know it was our fault for not having it handy, and I know the airlines get fined for each person they improperly send through, but at least out of all of that we learned a lesson..PRINT ALL OF YOUR E-TICKETS!

A 9.5 hour flight from Sydney to was perfect..the flight was so empty many people had their own ROWS! It was a good sleep and when we arrived in Bangkok at 1am I felt refreshed..refreshed until the odour of sulphur/egg farts hit my nostrils of course! We were conned into paying 800 baht (almost $40 Aussie) for a van-ride to our is only later of course that we discover that paying by meter cab is ridiculously cheaper, a lesson we have taken to heart.

We stayed at Classic Place Hotel, which was ok, it was a large room, with another bedroom in it and had TWO BATHROOMS! What more could we ask for, right? We slept, woke up for our free breakfasts (all of the hotels come with breakfasts included) and then did what women do best..we went shopping..because, duh, we sent home so much stuff, right!?!

We went to MBK, Paragon and Siam Square and then we went to Khao San Road, the notorious backpacker/traveller was stinky and smelly, but then again, all of Bangkok is..I thought it would be bigger actually, but it was a pretty small road..we ate dinner at a bar, met some English people that ate there as well and they told us to come with them to watch a sex show for 10 baht (that would be 3-4 CENTS Aussie)..we thought, well, why not..when in we followed them, where they met up with the Thai men that had enticed them to join, and took a tuk-tuk to some shady area (no idea where)..we ended up paying a total of 20 baht for our tuk-tuk while one of the tuk-tuks with the English in it was charged 200 baht!

We get to the door where we are told the show is 1000 baht! We get it ‘down’ to 600 baht and the 10 of us go to be entertained. The things these women could do with their vaginas was certainly impressive! Shooting darts and popping balloons, writing messages on paper, opening bottles, blowing whistles, smoking cigarettes, pulling razor blades out, shooting a banana out of vaginas into the crowd (which a man ate and said was warm..eww!) all ended with a man and woman having sex which was kinda boring, but of course I look away and when I look back, they’re all of a sudden hanging from o-rings attached to the ceiling and doing it on the ceiling which was something else..all in all, I felt a bit weird about the whole was degrading, and the women just walked out, did their little routine in a detached manner and went into the crowd to hustle any single men in the crowd..It is sad that people have to live like that and I unfortunately just helped support the industry. Ahh..c’est la vie..

The next morning, July 14th, I woke up a year older..eek 29 is just a year away from 30 and by then I suppose I should grow up and get a job and a house and be responsible and stuff..YAH RIGHT! The girls thoughtfully got me my Aussie souvenir, the shirt that says Australia on it that I never got for myself (thanks!) and then we went to the post office to mail MORE stuff to Hong Kong cuz we have too much! Afterwards, we went to the Grand Palace and the temple (which was closed due to a Buddhist ceremony) was all gorgeous, an unbelievable amount of detail in all of the buildings, paintings etc..BUT it was bloody hot, and we had to wear full pants and have our shoulders covered as a sign of respect..I think we were on the verge of fainting..when we finally left we took a METRED cab to the mall to shop (btw, I hate shopping now)..that 45 minute ride cost 90 baht! Proof that you should always go metred! We later headed back to Khao San Road for manicures, pedicures and Thai massages (ummm…ouch! Holy stretching, body manipulation and pummeling! I miss Diego’s massages!) and after all that we went into a little alley and found a restaurant called Hippie Hi and it had some awesome Thai food..we knew it was good because there were only Thai people eating there (no farangs – foreigners) and we picked the fish we ordered clean (not to mention everything else we devoured!). We headed home for an early night as we were headed to Chiang Mai in the north the next morning..